


You're My Golden Hour

by Pizzzazlut



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Smalltown Boys who go on Sonic dates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Yearning, benarmie, your honor I love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28817049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pizzzazlut/pseuds/Pizzzazlut
Summary: The realization of his feelings had weighed heavily on Armie for the past year, festering inside him like a dark storm cloud that only grew darker every single day they spent together. It was unfair, really.Why did he have to fall in love with the one person who had been his everything since they were young?Why Ben Solo?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 25
Kudos: 101





	You're My Golden Hour

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my BenArmie origin story! I am obsessed with the idea that they're just two smalltown boys who don't know how to express their feelings and mutually yearn for each other <3 Be still my heart! 
> 
> There *might* be a part 2 to this since this one is so soft and sweet and my brain is simply wondering how their first time would be like ;)

_ "You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling..." _

_ -Richard Siken _

Hux let his head fall back as the summer breeze began to cool the sweat at the nape of his neck, back itching slightly as he sat in the shade provided by the large willow tree at the far end of the football field. He stretched out his back, flexed his fingers that were beginning to cramp as he finished the sketch he had started when he had sat down to wait for Ben.

Hands covered with the residue of his colored pencils, Hux couldn’t help admiring his work. A flower garden that belonged to one of his neighbors was nearly complete, the vibrant colors looking just as beautiful as the real thing he saw every morning on his walk to school. Vibrant blues and soft pinks combined perfectly to make such a lovely scene, two contrasting colors that went well together.

The garden reminded Hux of a quote he once read in one of his mothers’ book of poems she used to keep on her nightstand, a book he realized he hadn’t seen in ages.

_If I had a single flower for every time I thought about you, I could walk forever in my garden._

The harsh sound of a whistle and faint shouting in the distance brought Hux’s attention back to reality. He could pick out Ben in any crowd, no matter the distance, no matter how many people were surrounding him. He was always the tallest one around, his shaggy black hair as unruly as ever as he pulled off his helmet to argue a play that Hux didn’t really understand.

Their high school was in the heart of the town, small but not too bad for a school in the middle of crop fields and vast plains. It took everyone at least two hours to get anywhere resembling civilization, a fact that Ben tried to argue whenever he tried to drive fifteen miles over the speed limit (too bad his truck barely made it past ten thanks to Han rigging the speedometer).

Ben Solo has been his best friend since kindergarten. Before he grew into those goofy ears that always bothered him because it made him an easy target for mockery. Armie had seen that scrawny boy grow up into this buff young man who managed to be the most emotional human being alive on the field, but also the dorkiest person who managed to make Armie laugh in the darkest of days.

Armie watched as Ben tried to settle whatever scuffle had just occurred between his fellow teammates, easily shoving the two currently yelling at each other apart with an ease that made Armie bite his lip because how does Ben make it look to effortless?

The realization of his feelings had weighed heavily on Armie for the past year, festering inside him like a dark storm cloud that only grew darker every single day they spent together. It was unfair, really. Why did he have to fall in love with the one person who had been his everything since they were young? Why Ben Solo?

The question itself is ridiculous, especially when Armie watches Ben finish practice, face flushed and glistening with sweat as his hair practically dripped onto the sleeveless shirt he cut so the armholes were obnoxiously large. Armie has tried his best not to stare, but he stopped trying a long time ago. He could see the wide expanse of Ben’s chest, the taught flat stomach that was as hard as it looked. Ben had chest bumped him many times to confirm the fact.

The heat in his belly quickly shifted to amusement as he watched Ben cross the field with his backpack hanging off one arm and his gym bag hanging off the other while he tried to carry two large Tupperware containers that had contained the food that fed the entire pack of hungry boys that day without dropping them as he walked over towards Armie. He had the fortune of having witnessed Leia make Ben swear to return her favorite containers, promising him a nightmarish punishment if he didn’t bring them back later that day.

Once again, Armie couldn’t help but stare. Senior year had introduced them to their driver's licenses and to the way Ben’s shoulders became so massive that his shirts were practically crying for help before he decided to alter them himself. Gone were the boys who spent their time collecting frogs and lizards down by the quarry, the boys who would stare at the stars and give them their own names. They were replaced by young men who could demolish three rotisserie chickens in less than five minutes, not counting that time Ben ate the one his mother was saving for the entire family for dinner that one night. How was he supposed to know it wasn’t exclusively for him?

Ben interrupted Armie’s thoughts as he plopped down beside him, no doubt breaking everything in his backpack with the sheer force of his body weight falling on top of it. “I seriously can’t feel my legs. Carry me back to the truck,” Ben sighed so dramatically, it was a shock he wasn’t in the drama club instead.

“I weigh as much as one of your legs so that would be impossible,” Armie replied, keeping his eyes trained on his sketch and not on the exposed stomach that was too tantalizing for his poor little heart.

Because that’s all Armie did when it came to Ben. He admired every minuscule detail about him. The way Ben made a specific facial expression when he was trying to be mean about something but couldn’t speak to talk shit out loud. The way Ben would ask him if he felt uncomfortable if the team made crude jokes around him and always finding an excuse to get him away from the rowdy boys that always took things too far. The way Ben’s eyes looked almost sad and worried when he looked at Armie, specifically during moments when he thought Armie wasn’t paying attention.

Armie could never pinpoint exactly why he looked at him that way.

“I’m fucking starving. Do you want to go to Sonic? I’ll buy you your favorite slush,” Ben said, pleading as he turned to look at Armie, those big brown eyes looking hopefully up at him.

As if Ben ever needed to bribe him to tag along. All he ever had to do was ask.

Their Sonic trips were the same each time they went; hastily looking for spare change so they could buy more food and appetizers. Sometimes they got lucky, finding enough change to stuff themselves full that made driving back home nearly impossible. On days where they both had just received their allowances, they dined like kings.

The butterflies in Armie’s stomach came back with full force when Ben asked him to share his chili cheese tots or his mozzarella sticks, opening his mouth as if he was incapable of letting go of his burger. It shouldn’t make Armie blush as he watched that neck stretch out to reach for the offered food or seeing his teeth chomp down on a fry but it always did, and Armie was thankful the car was too dark for Ben to notice.

It also helped to hide his hurt expression when the young carhop came back to check up on Ben (Armie knew this because she never looked at him once). She was a pretty girl, probably a year younger than them. She looked at Ben like he was a shining star, leaning on his truck door despite it being absolutely filthy, making Armie grin to himself when he noticed just how dusty her uniform was when she finally walked away.

Armie tried to feel annoyed when she came back a couple of minutes later, an enormous cup in her hands that looked regular-sized in Ben’s massive ones once she handed it over. Leave it to Ben to order an even bigger drink...

Maybe he just wanted an excuse to talk to her again…

“Here,” Ben said as he offered Armie the new drink, making sure in fit safely in between his thighs. “Route 44 just for you. Ocean water slush and some nerds to give it some spice!”

“Ben! I only wanted a small,” Armie sputtered as he practically hugged the cup in his arms. “This shit is huge!”

“Hey, size matters,” Ben said with a wink, laughing for a second before stuffing his mouth with a handful of tater tots before looking away. He tried clearing his throat, but the act only made him choke on a tot that threatened to go down the wrong pipe.

Armie looked away just as quickly, blushing furiously he thought his face would melt off. Ben had bought him this…just because.

He spent his leftover change…for Armie.

He swore he never felt so high.

* * *

Ben was completely unaware of when the dynamic had changed between them.

One moment he was simply enjoying the presence of his best friend, the one person who could make him laugh and feel stupid at the same time. The next moment Ben was craving his attention like a starving man before a feast, unsatisfied no matter how many hours they spent together. There just weren’t enough hours in the day.

Ben wouldn’t say he was codependent on Armie, but the idea of not being near him made him almost physically sick. The first time he felt it was the time Armie had to spend half the summer at the family beach house on the coast, a time Ben hadn’t prepared for at all. It was when Ben caught himself smelling one of Armie’s sweaters that he had left behind before his trip when Ben realized this was so much more different than before.

He remembers the way his Mom would miss his Dad when he went on long haul trips, the way she would stare longingly out the kitchen window at the long, dusty driveway as if Dad would show up in his eighteen-wheeler, honking the horn the entire way to announce his arrival. Ben Remembers the look on her face when he would call from wherever truck stop he managed to make a pit stop at, the way her face suddenly looked so young just like the pictures she had hanging around the house.

Ben felt the same way when Armie called him that summer and felt the blossoming heat in his chest when Armie told him he missed being back home with Ben.

Even now, as they sat in his truck and enjoyed a couple of corn dogs and shared a soda because money was tight, Ben couldn’t help but steal glances when Armie wasn’t looking.

It was distracting to see Armie slouched in the passenger seat, a sight so odd and strange considering how held together he normally always was. Sometimes he sat cross-legged on the old, uncomfortable seat to face Ben and give him his undivided attention. It was almost too much for Ben, to have those piercing green eyes look at him that way as if whatever stupid story Ben was telling him truly mattered.

Because that’s what Armie did best; make Ben feel like he was important. Like he was worthy of being listened to.

The thought made Ben place the wrapper of his burger in his lap to hide just how much the realization affected him.

Girls tried their best to flirt with Ben, bless their hearts. But nothing ever came close to what Armie’s laugh made him feel, how his snorts made his chest warm and wheeze uncontrollably at Armie’s response to the stupid joke he told him during lunch or class. Ben got lightheaded afterward because to make Armie lose it like this was more attractive than all the pretty girls in school.

Ben lied to himself when he turned down yet another flirtatious request to go to the movies by the Sonic girl, telling himself that he didn’t have time to have any distractions during football season. His brain whispered traitorously to him about it being a lie, that he actually turned her down because he saw Armie’s hurt face before he excused himself to go to the bathroom before they headed home.

He never wanted to see that look on Hux’s face again.

Ben hated how complicated his emotions were making this. He simply wanted to enjoy Armie’s presence, not ache to reach over and touch him. Ben wanted to cherish the friendship they’ve had for so long, not reach out to hold Armie’s hand as he drove him home for the night as he ran his thumb along his boney knuckles in a gentle caress. Ben wanted to feel how smooth and warm Armie’s skin felt, to admire every single freckle that made him more beautiful than a stary night.

Before he knew it, it was the moment Ben dreaded the most. The moment he had to say goodbye until the following day.

He knows he’s being dramatic. Armie tells him all the time. But he can’t help it, not when Armie hasn’t spoken a word since they left after Sonic girl tried yet again to get Ben to go out with her. Not when Armie’s looking out the window to stare at the dark fields surrounding the highway and not at Ben.

Ben remembers the way his Dad turned on the radio whenever his Mom was upset about something, particularly after a round of snarky comments said to each other that always got way out of hand and feelings were hurt. How there was always a song she couldn’t help but sing along to as his Dad reached over to hold her hand. Ben figures it’s a good tactic, having seen it work many times before. So, he does it now, hoping a song that they both know and like will blast through his speakers and not one that would ruin the mood any further.

The truck rattles loudly and the radio is a bit wonky, but the song is heard loud and clear as Ben raises the volume for Armie to get the hint. It’s an old song, he’s heard it played on the radio many times before.

Ben watches Armie give him a look. The look that he always gives him when he knows Ben is going to make him do something ridiculous. Slapping his palms in the steering wheel in time with the song, it doesn’t take Ben much to get that beautiful smile on Armie’s lips. He’s laughing at Ben because he’s forgotten the lyrics, unaware of the reason why.

Ben knows he’s driving, but the sight of Armie leaning his head out the passenger side window is testing his ability to focus on the road. He can’t focus when the wind begins to blow through that glorious red hair in complete disarray, strands flying wildly as Armie shakes his head to get it completely wild. The collar of his shirt flaps uncontrollably, exposing his collarbone that has plagued Ben’s dreams for weeks. Ben can see the freckles on his chest, and he feels so lucky to be one of the few people to know how much they stand out during the summertime when he’s exposed to too much sun.

Ben realized something at that very moment as he watched Armie sing to the stars above them, cackling in pure delight as he held on for dear life because he had moved to practically hanging out the window as Ben drove…

Ben loved Armie.

That beautiful boy who chose to hang out with him every single day. That beautiful boy who chose to listen to him complain about sports and his teammates every though he had no clue how the sport even worked. That boy who would laugh at Ben’s jokes even though they were so dirty they made him blush.

Ben loved Armie.

And the realization made him swerve just a bit as he drove but Armie was too busy singing to even notice.

* * *

The ache in Ben’s chest was beginning to take its toll.

It wasn’t surprising considering his mother always said that he was never good at hiding his emotions. Ben simply wasn’t prepared for it.

Armie had caught Ben staring multiple times now, and it was so obvious that Ben couldn’t even come up with an excuse to excuse his actions. But the little voice in his head decided to play a cruel game on him when it whispered _but why was he looking at you too?_

They were in the middle of summer, the intense heat made it impossible for Ben to practice on his new team at the State University and too hot to go to sit in his old rusty truck at Sonic. They chose to bring their food back to Ben’s room, eating in comfortable silence as Armie read from his textbook for one of his courses while they sat on the floor in his room.

The frustration Ben felt was excruciating now. Just being close to Armie was making Ben lose it. The struggle to not reach out and run his hand over the curve of Armie’s back was harder than any tackle the bigger players could ever give him. That pain seemed bearable compared to this.

The staring was worse now, so much that Ben didn’t even care if he got caught. He almost wanted Armie to say something, anything to me him that would let him know he wasn’t wrong for feeling this way.

Ben could survive this. He could suck it up and find someone to distract himself, to vent out all his frustrations about-

The strand that fell over Armie’s forehead broke Ben’s resolve, so much that it felt like a punch to the gut. The subtle way his forehead creased as he read made Ben wish he knew what he was thinking about. What he wouldn’t give for Armie’s thoughts to be about him.

Ben couldn’t take it anymore. He was drowning and needed to be saved.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Ben said aloud, body deflating as he stared at his hands in his lap.

Armie looked up quickly, spilling blue slush over his chin because he pulled away from the straw he was sipping from too fast. “Can’t do what? You’re not doing anything?”

He could tell Ben was distressed, the way he sighed heavily and let his head fall back was a clear sign. It didn’t look like he was angry, Armie had seen his tantrums plenty of times to tell those apart from the ones that would be exceptionally bad. Ben looked tired, and Armie had no idea what to expect from this conversation.

“I just can’t do this with you,” Ben half whined, half complained as he stretched his legs out to stand and pace the room. He looked so massive now that he had to bulk up for college football, making Armie admire the view for a second before his concern was back again.

Armie sat up to kneel on his knees, confused as ever. “What did I do? I’m sorry I was reading. I didn’t mean to ignore you. This class is interesting, and I wanted to read a couple of chapters before the semester started so- "

“No, Armie. It’s not that,” Ben laughed humorlessly, pacing still. “Just. Promise me that nothing will change after what I’m about to tell you. Please.” Big, brown eyes filled with panic made Armie’s heart sink.

“I swear nothing will change but,” Armie stood carefully, slowly. Like an animal waiting for its predator to strike the final blow. “Ben, you’re scaring me.”

It was the scared, soft voice that made Ben finally stop his movements, the way Armie’s shoulders were raised towards his ears in that way he always did when his father had something mean to say to him. It made Ben want to punch himself in the face because even now he managed to fuck things up.

“No, it’s not- “Ben moved forward before stopping himself. “I just have a lot to say and I need you to just listen to me. _Please_.”

For once, Ben didn’t care if he sounded weak. He was weak. For Armie.

Armie felt the shift in Ben’s words as soon as the plead left his lips, moving forward to look into Ben’s eyes with concern and something else Ben couldn’t name. “I’m listening, Ben. Tell me.” Was Ben in trouble? What could possibly cause this reaction?

Ben sighed loudly before reaching out to grab hold of one of Armie’s hands, looking down as he spoke. “I don’t know why, and I don’t know when this happened. But I think I love you,” Ben’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head before he corrected himself. “I mean…I do love you. So much you don’t even understand how much it hurts. I think about you all the fucking time and sometimes I feel sick when I can’t be with you like before.”

Armie swore he could feel his pulse wildly in his neck. Ben wasn’t finished. “Last year, when you were singing in my truck as I drove you home…that was it. I knew right there that I loved you and I had no idea how to tell you this. Everyone says that I should focus on football and my major but all I fucking care about is how I could get you to love me back so we could move somewhere and get an apartment together and not care about our parents being nosey and annoying…”

Was Armie breathing? He has to be dead, surely.

“I mean I’m not saying we have to drop out of school. My parents will kick my ass and your Dad will probably kick mine. I mean, he probably will if he ever finds out I fell in love with his son, but I really could care less about Bad Back Brendol-” Ben said in a rush of words as he gestured with his hands, one still firmly holding Armie’s and taking it for a ride as well.

“I do too,” Armie cut Ben off mid-sentence, his voice quiet as he stared up at this big silly boy. “I love you too.”

And how many times had Armie dreamed about this? Dreamed of telling him those words he felt in his heart for so long that he felt ridiculous for even feeling them.

“Seriously?” Ben asked as if Armie would ever lie about something so serious. “It’s okay if you don’t, don’t just say that to make me feel better. But…really?”

The hopeful tone of his voice finally makes it all real. Armie moved his hands to rest on Ben’s hips, a tentative touch that makes Ben jump just a bit but doesn’t move away. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Ben. You’re the first person I think about when I wake up and the only person I ever dream about when I’m asleep.” Oh, he said too much. Armie shouldn’t have.

Except, Ben is suddenly very close to Armie’s face now, so close he can feel the heat from his face against his. Armie, emboldened by the way his arms are now encircled around Ben’s waist thanks to the subtle movement, decides to take the plunge and lean forward to place a kiss on Ben’s chest. It’s a chaste little thing, against the fabric of his t-shirt. Yet, it held everything Armie had ever wanted to tell him.

Large hands cup Armie’s face to bring his eyes back up to Ben’s face. He looks amazed, lips parted slightly as he searches for the truth in Armie’s green eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

If only Ben knew he never needed to ask. But Armie nods anyway, watching the movement of Ben’s face as he gets closer until he can’t focus his eyes anymore. Ben’s lips are a little cold and damp as they graze against Armie’s embarrassingly chapped ones. If Ben is bothered by it, he doesn’t say or show it at all.

Ben places sweet little kisses on Armie’s lips as his hands cradle his chin like he’s the most precious artifact he’s ever possessed. He pulls back every now and then to check on Armie, smiling more confidently when he sees no hesitation or objections coming from him. His nose nudges Armie’s face before he kisses him again, soft and sweet.

The shift comes when Armie’s hands slide up Ben’s back, feeling the strong muscles that have teased him for so long. Armie goes along for the ride as Ben tilts his head and opens his mouth, tongue tasting the leftover syrup on Armie’s lips after his little accident from before. They moan softly in unison when they feel how warm and wet they feel, breathing heavily when the kiss became just a bit more sloppy.

This is different from kissing girls. The sensation of Ben’s faint stubble against Armie’s face was a whole new level of alluring and the way Armie’s sharp jaw fit perfectly in Ben’s hands made Ben wish he hadn’t been scared and done this sooner. Hands explored and touched all the places they wanted; with Armie sliding his hands up and down Ben’s stomach and Ben taking the plunge to squeeze the ass that he had dreamed about.

They finally broke away when they remembered that breathing was essential, nuzzling each other’s faces because they weren’t ready to let go just yet.

Ben looked completely disarmed, so vulnerable but aroused as his brown eyes look almost black from this angle. His lips were wet and swollen, making Armie’s legs buckle because that’s how his lips should look like from now on. Armie didn’t look any better as he licked his lips to taste Ben, relishing the fact that they tasted nothing like the blue slush he was enjoying before. He liked this new flavor the best.

“Ben, can you promise me two things?” Armie finally asked after a minute of them taking in the moment.

Nodding eagerly, Ben pulled Armie forward again. “I will. Anything.”

Armie couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. He loved Ben so much, eagerness and all. “Promise not to make fun of me because I have no idea what sex is. I’ve never…” Ben understood and nodded in agreement. “And please promise me you won’t hurt me. No matter what happens or where we are. _Please_.”

Ben aches for a completely different reason now. How foolish of him to think it would ever stop. “I will never, ever hurt you. Look at me,” he said, stern for once in his life. “I’d rather die before I ever hurt you in any way. I swear it. Plus, I don’t know anything about sex like…you know…”

Armie knew.

“Can I make out with you more, though? You taste so good,” Ben whined, and Armie couldn’t help the snort he made because Ben was already being needy. Honestly, he would be surprised if Ben _wasn’t_.

Armie thought of flowers as Ben leaned back in to kiss him gently. The garden he had spent so long creating with every single thought he had about Ben. Only now, he was able to lay in it and enjoy the feeling of Ben’s hands over his body and hear the small sighs coming from his mouth as he smiled in that goofy way of his.

And as Ben wrapped his arms around Armie’s small waist to bring him close, Armie couldn’t believe the wait had been worth the results.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Shout out to Sonic for having the best slushes <3


End file.
